There are also donors who intended to tell their partner but have found the subject difficult to discuss. Other donors are proud of their donation and have been open with their partners and others from the time they donated.

Some people may learn about their partner’s donation as a result of an application to the donor conception registers. It can be confronting to find out that their partner donated, that a person was born from the donation and/or their parent may want more information about, or contact with, your partner.

Partners may wonder what their role should be and where they fit in as they are not biologically connected to your offspring. It is likely to take time to process this information and to decide what to do. It is common to feel uneasy or confused about what this could mean for you, your partner, and your relationship.

If you have not been able to have children, potential contact can stir up painful feelings which can be particularly difficult.
It is important that you are included, so you may want to:
• raise any concerns, with your partner and/or contact a counsellor
• contact us at ARTFam for advice

It is important that you are guided by their wishes, no matter your stance on the matter. Allowing them autonomy in how they communicate their children’s conception both to you and the world will guide you in the way you discuss the matter with them and others. Being open to their wishes, and asking questions where appropriate would, in most circumstances, be an excellent way to offer support.

Fertility Preservation

Fertility preservation is used to increase the chance of somebody having children in future. It can be used for medical reasons and personal circumstances. It is sometimes used before medical procedures and treatments that may cause infertility, such as cancer treatment and gender transitioning.
There are several methods of fertility preservation, including medication to protect a woman’s ovaries (GnRH agonists), and freezing (cryopreservation) of ovarian tissue, eggs or sperm.